Ominous Orange Blob Threatens Yucatan

I don't want to beat the natural disaster horse too much, but currently, MSNBC and Fox News are running little huricane trackers in the bottom-right corner of the screen. Oh yeah, Drudge has one, too. Now that we all know a little bit more about hurricanes (they're windy and hate black people), I guess it's only appropriate to keep an eye on them nonstop. Granted, I'd rather watch the past hour of radar images on loop than anything on Fox News, even if there wasn't a hurricane, and all it showed was a blue square. But there are far better places to turn to satiate your hurricane hunger, if you must. And if you must, you're probably a lot less important than you think you are.

The networks haven't quite found that magical window where the best time to tell people about hurricanes lies. They know it's somewhere between when the thing forms and when it starts raining on the coast, but they just can't get it nailed down. It hardly matters anyhow, because anyone who gets MSNBC surely gets the damned Weather Channel. Hell, here in Albany I get the NASA channel, so I can see that shit from space. Or here's an idea, cut out the middle-man and go straight to NOAA.gov, there you can find the National Weather Service. They fly planes into the storm for you and then put a little red bar on your screen during reruns of Friends. Of course, if you're still around your television when that red bar starts scrolling the bad news, you're probably screwed anyway. That is all. I promise this is the last hurricane post unless I see the Blessed Mother in the radar.